Wow, are Emmitt and I lucky or what?! Two beautiful days in a row...I can only hope it stays like this...I mean comon, its groundhogs day, doesnt that count for anything??
I obviously remember this time last year, it was definitely cold and windy and icy (among other things.)
I was thinking today, on a long doggie walk, about everything thats happened since we moved here. My parents warnings not to move to "Baltimurder" for fear I would be shot/mugged/raped/haave my car broken into etc...and how much I hated it, hated my life, hated my 4 freakin hr commute, hated my loans, hated missing my family, hated the cold and the uglyness of the area hated hate hated...I can remember times on my runs just wanting to throw myself into oncoming traffic, or jump off one of the bridges I run over into the next county over...but always holding onto hope that things would get better.
I remember falling and breaking my elbow and not being able to paint murals anymore, and not wanting to leave the confines of my apartment...ever for several months.
This time of year has always seemed hard for me. Christmas and New Year's passed, no more fun holidays...the snow and ice wearing on my nerves, losing my papa, my closest aunt, and most recently John all during the first 2 months of Feb....pretty random...apparently people should stay faaarrr away from me in Feb..haha
Anyway, I'm not sure why I was thinking about all these things...maybe just since the sun felt so good I could allow them into my consciousness with out getting too upset, the sun always makes me smile.
Either way, I'm happy I never acted upon any attempts to end my life...there's just too many sunny days that I need to experience.
No comments:
Post a Comment